Ties of Blood

Sorry Mr. Santoshi, your Family disappoints….especially becoz this is the Khaki team again - Keshu, Sanotshi, AB and Akki.

This is undoubtedly Santoshi’s worst film. Though there are some elements in the plot that are good, on the whole the film fails to grip. The differences in the ‘love for the family’ of the two lead characters are just about ok. The idea of an innocent man getting killed in the crossfire of a gang war is also a little thought provoking. But what could have been a taut thriller ends up in a whimper. The last police station sequence is the only saving grace but it comes too late and does too little.

There is nothing new in this film-all the characters have been seen countless number of times in scores of gangster movies. Bachchan’s attempt to act sinister falls flat on its face – his nasal tone and continuous cigar smoking is highly irritating.

Keshu’s son gets a brilliant platform to launch himself and does a decent job – his eyes are his assets and if this young man hones his acting skills then we could have a good actor in the making.

But the surprise element in this movie is Akshay Kumar and Bhumika. The scenes between them are ‘total paisa vasool’. AK always had good roles in Keshu’s films and has been largely responsible for the latter’s success…and with this film he again proves that he has still lots to give to the Indian film audience. Even in Khaki it was his comic touch that had given his role an edge; and with this film he proves that Hera Pheri and Mujhse Shadi Karoge were not flukes.

Just one last word – Ms. Bhumika Chawla – why do we not see you more often? You are just too good. Guys….just check out her ‘hospital scene with AB’. Brilliant.

‘Ak- sar –dard’

Aksar jab ek actor flop hota hai to woh director banne ki kaushish karta hain

Aksar jab ek model apni acchi career ki waat lagana chahta hain to woh actor banne ki kaushish karta hain

Aksar jab ek wannabe actor acting se zyada kiss karne ke liye famous ho jata hain to woh skin flicks ka superstar banne ki kaushish karta hain

Aksar jab ek wannabe actress enough skin dikhane ke baad bhi recognized nahi hothi hain to woh aur skin dikhane ki kaushish karti hain

Aksar jab ek struggling writer ka daaru aur plot khatam ho jaata hai to woh aisi story…sorry..bakwas likhne ki kaushish karta hain

Aksar jab ek ache singer ka ek nasal tone me gaya gana hit hota hain to who har gana waise hi gaakar irritating banne ki kaushish karta hain

Aur jab ek audience zindagi se mayoos hota hain to who suicide karne ke liye aisi film dekhta hain

Par aksar aisi film dekhne ke baad who marta to nahin hain par ak-sar-dard lekar ghar wapis jata hain.

This film is highly recommended as a painless form of suicide.

Worms in the Chocolate

If Mr. Ugly would have seen Mr. Agnihotri’s version of The Usual Suspects he would surely have said “if you want to copy …copy…do not add your own”.

Well Mr. Agnihotri, even if one can try to sympathize with your attempt to Indianize Bryan Singer’s wonderful thriller, one cannot. Because “stylish editing do not a movie make”...it is the art of story telling that creates the magic.

Chocolate fails in almost every department. The script is pathetic; the acting atrocious, the attempt to create a mystery is feeble and the tautness associated with thrillers is completely missing.

Anil Kapoor is the ‘tar icing on this stale cake’...hamming and laughing like a lunatic throughout the film.

The two actresses seem to be in ‘I can show more cleavage than you’ mode complete with Ms.Reddy tearing her shirt open and screaming "main bhi doosri ladkiyon ki tarah bra pahanti hoon" - could you not think of anything better Mr.Agnihotri?

The only saving grace is Irfaan- one only prays that his unique style of acting just does not become a monotony ala Nana Patekar.

My advise- if Chocolate is what you want please reach out for a Cadbury…coz this one is surely full of worms.